First Dates: Finding Your Soulmate as a Single Mum.

The protagonist in the romcom screenplay I'm writing is pretty rubbish when it comes to men. Dating in particular. I guess that's no surprise really seeing as it's a romcom. If she was good with dating it would make for pretty boring viewing. 

Girl meets boy, boy falls in love with girl, they live happily ever after, and I go back to watching scary horror movies instead. 

Anyway, this particular character has a problem finding men who like her enough for who she really is. Enough for her to not have to change her personality to get them to like her... following?!! 

It got me thinking that, although this poor girl is a walking dating disaster, at least she has it fairly simple. 

Unlike me... with a small child in tow. 

Not that I'm complaining, because she is the best small child ever in the whole world!

Dating as a single mum.

First dates used to be so simple when I was younger. 

Spot a cute guy, walk up to him, snog him! Casually hang out where I might see him again (this was pre-Facebook stalking days—I’m really old!) and if I still thought he was cute, go out for a drink as a first date. Perhaps that was the naivety of youth rather than the simplicity of no children, but what on earth does one do now? 

When do I bring up the subject of my child??

How to find a soul mate!

I can just imagine how it would pan out...
I saunter (read - drunkenly wobble) up to a cute guy.
Me: Hi, I'm Kate.
Him (smiling): Hi Kate, I'm Ryan Gosling... you're lovely, can I get you a glass of champagne?
Me: Why thank you, Ryan. By the way, I have a small child who has a penchant for Peppa Pig and sticking sandwiches up her nose.
Him: (nothing as he has already made a swift exit to hide in Eva Mendes' ample but childless bosom!)

Not how I imagined a perfect First Date to go!

I guess revealing that I have a child too soon would be akin to me saying, 

Hi, I'm Kate. I have a 34" inside leg, size 6 feet, and a disturbing obsession with Chanel nail polish.

Again, all true, but not what I imagine to be saying when chatting up a potential suitor.

But... leave it too long and by the time it gets to the third date it's too late and they think you’re a massive liar for not telling the truth earlier! 

Although, perhaps in the day of Facebook stalking he will do his research and already know I have a child. My profile is full of the obligatory pictures and is pretty public. I don’t know! Maybe I need to get online and find a man on one of the many dating sites, then I can add in a piece about my daughter on my profile? I’m just a bit scared to put myself out there like that!

It's a minefield. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!

In the meantime I'm off to write some more screenplay.

1 comment

  1. As a smug married (thanks Bridget Jones) my opinion matters little but I say get it out there. With chiddlers you have little time to yourself so cut to the chase. If the man's worth spending any time with he'll understand. Unless he's scarily too young for you in which case you should steer clear!
    p.s. I think Ryan Gosling has an odd shaped face. I'd set my fantasies higher :)