Faith In Oneself Is The Best And Safest Course: I Am Enough.

Faith In Oneself Is The Best And Safest Course: I Am Enough.

"Faith in oneself is the best and safest course" Michelangelo.

Whenever I meet new people and am asked what it is I do, I always give a couple of answers. I'm a full time mum and I write. I can generally tell which they're more interested in by the questions I'm asked…

"How old's your little one?"
"What do you write?"

Or the expressions on their faces as I'm talking, it's quite easy to spot the ones who definitely don't want to hear about little A's antics of the day. Which is good, because I could wax lyrical about her antics for a loooong time!

But it doesn't matter which direction the conversations goes, I always end up in one way or another, apologising for what I do.

On one hand, little A…

It's never enough (for me) just saying I am a mum and talking about how she likes to get out every single toy in one go before deciding that she doesn't want to play with any of them and would rather go and collect stones from the driveway. There's always the need to explain what it is I do as a mum all day, even to other parents, which is daft because nobody really wants to know. Nobody is questioning me. Especially people I've just met!! It's a need to justify my place in the world, almost…and I know I'm not alone in doing this either. In fact, it's so inherent that I'm having to force myself not to type about my day right now. I don't need to question myself. I work hard enough. I am good enough.

On the other, the writing…

I can't help but describe it as 'just this' or 'just that'. It's just short films… I'm just writing a romcom… it's just online stuff… and I get worse when I talk about my books. They're only chick lit, beach reads, not literary at all. Let's see if I can debase my work any further before I realise what I'm doing. They're still books (well one is, one's still technically a WIP) but they're still thousands of hard written words put together in some sort of orderly form, which is hard… you only have to read this blog to see that!! - there I go again. I don't need to question myself. I work hard enough. I am good enough.

Here are my Self Worth Activities that I am hoping will help me stop the trigger to apologising for being me:

  • Quit trying to be someone else.
  • Don't depend on things to give me status.
  • Don't rely on others to validate me.
  • Learn to accept compliments.
  • Trust in myself.

So, my mission from here on in is to stop apologising for myself, and start believing in what I do and who I am. I think a lot of us could benefit from being a little kinder to ourselves. It doesn't make us arrogant or self-righteous, it simply makes us treat ourselves in the same way we treat others, and why wouldn't we want to do that?

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